


The Power of Cake

by DandelionDrabbles (AnonymousDandelion)



Series: Dialogue Prompt Fills [6]
Category: Good Omens (Radio), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Banter, Cake, Competent Aziraphale (Good Omens), Confused Crowley (Good Omens), Crime Fighting, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Footnotes, Humor, Kind Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Post-Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Sort Of, as in fighting crime with cake, fluff dialogue prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27545698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousDandelion/pseuds/DandelionDrabbles
Summary: “Do you know who that is?” Crowley demanded. "A leader in London’s criminal underworld.”“Not anymore,” Aziraphale replied sternly. "Cake is contingent on retirement.”(Fluff dialogue prompt fill #2.)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Dialogue Prompt Fills [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996120
Comments: 18
Kudos: 77
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Good Omens Lockdown fics





	The Power of Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Behold me, cheating at my own self-imposed word count limit by not only raising it to 500 words again, but also using footnotes as a way of sneaking in extra sentences! Ah, well.
> 
> This one is inspired by the [Good Omens Lockdown special](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quSXoj8Kob0). Feel free to read either as a standalone or as part of my [ Lockdown/COVID-19](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009917) series.
> 
> See prompt in end notes.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley projected his voice up the stairs[1]. “Someone’s at the door.”

“What?” Aziraphale’s response drifted down.

“Big flat thing. Think window, but taller.”

“I know what a _door_ is, Crowley.” Even unseen, Aziraphale’s exasperation was palpable. “Don’t they see the sign?[2] We’re _closed_.”

“They’re at the back door[3],” Crowley explained. “Want me to get rid of them?”

“ _Oh!_ The _back_ door? Why didn’t you say so?”

Ignoring Crowley's protests of “I just said so!”, the angel appeared at the base of the stairs, entered the kitchenette, and emerged holding…

…Cake?

Crowley followed, mystified, as Aziraphale opened the back door. Outside stood…

Crowley shoved Aziraphale aside and showed fang to the masked[4] man in the alley. The man fainted.

“ _Crowley_!” Aziraphale sounded put out. “That was uncalled for!”

“Do you know who that is?” Crowley demanded.

“Yes.”

Crowley nearly blinked. “...A leader in London’s criminal underworld[5]?”

“Not anymore,” Aziraphale replied sternly.

“...?!”

“You of all people should know not to judge by prior occupation. Cake is contingent on retirement.”

“ _What_.”

“My dear, are you going to wake that poor man up?”

“No! Not until you explain!”

“Oh, very well.” Aziraphale shook his head, shut the door, and snapped his fingers.

Outside, the man found himself holding a cake and feeling very disoriented.

Inside, Aziraphale turned to Crowley. “I _did_ want to hear about his first semester of university. He’ll be back another time, though, I’m sure. Now, what was it you wanted explained?”

~ ~ ~

“So.” Crowley’s head was in his arms. “You’ve reformed a quarter of London’s criminal network by giving them cake and lectures on moral responsibility?”

“It wasn’t intentional,” Aziraphale defended himself. “I didn’t _realize_ those lads who broke in would tell their friends.”

“I nap five months,” Crowley muttered darkly, “and _this_ happens.”

“They don’t come indoors. And masks are required. But I couldn’t exactly say no when they showed up on my doorstep, could I?”

“Hypothetically? You absolutely could’ve said no. So, yeah, you’ve reformed a quarter of London’s criminal network with lectures and cake.”

“And blessings for success in other careers. So many go into crime simply because they see no other option. It’s really quite sad.” Aziraphale sighed. “At any rate, reformation passes the time. And gives me an excuse to bake cake.”

“And reduces crime.”

“That, too.”

“If I wasn’t retired,” Crowley said, “I’d be in trouble.”

“If you weren’t retired,” Aziraphale told him severely, “I’d have done things differently[6], so you _wouldn’t_ be in trouble.”

“Ngh.”

“Though I confess, I’d rather you didn’t sleep for months. If only because I enjoy your company.”

Crowley squirmed. He momentarily considered saying something like _I enjoy your company too_ , then decided he was still too flabbergasted by Aziraphale’s recent activities to be sentimental. Instead, he said, “What should we do now?”

“Hm.” Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled with humor. “Can we make cake? I like cake. And my supply seems to be running low.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Crowley intoned. “Sure. Let’s make cake.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1 Aziraphale was in the process of reorganizing his entire book collection. Yet again. As if there had been any customers to disturb it in the first place for at least the past six months.[return to text]
> 
> 2 Aziraphale’s COVID-19 closure sign was, for a change, perfectly unambiguous about his opening hours. (There were no opening hours.)[return to text]
> 
> 3 Which was unusual. The back door opened into an alley, where would-be book-buyers were highly unlikely to stumble upon it, was seldom used, and thus had no sign. As far as Crowley knew, the main purpose of that door was to serve as an escape route, should one be needed.[return to text]
> 
> 4 That was to say, face-masked.[return to text]
> 
> 5 Underworld with a lowercase u, to be clear. Not to be confused with the Underworld. Crowley was something of an expert on both.[return to text]
> 
> 6 A la nineteenth century. (See [Of Magic Tricks and Paperwork and Pudding-Heads](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26639182).)[return to text]
> 
> The prompt was “Can we make cake? I like cake.”
> 
> As always, many thanks for reading, as well as for any and all kudos/comments! Stay safe, please.


End file.
